Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login

Ten 1st World Problems caused by Mass Effect

Journal Entry: Sun Jan 13, 2013, 10:13 PM
1- Irritated by Kelly/Samantha telling me that someone would like to talk to me on another deck even though I JUST CAME FROM THAT DECK.

2- Irritated that my FemShep runs like she has a sausage and eggs between her legs even though she's clearly a woman.

3- Annoyed that Shepard is carrying a gun in a cutscene that I didn't equip him with (where did he get it from??).

4- Irritated that the piece of armor that would give me great stats is just plain ugly and would ruin my outfit.

5- Irritated that wearing a helmet would increase my stats but I refuse to wear it because I then can't see my Shepard speak.

6- Upset at having to kill defenseless pyjaks to get a discount from the Krogan store.

7- Irritated that to play Mass Effect 1 again I would have to sit through all that pointless driving around in the goddamn Mako.

8- Annoyed that Jack won't get together with my FemShep even though I thought for sure she'd be the one female in the game that would.

9- Annoyed at Liara for giving me fifty chances to get back with her in ME3 even though I cheated on her in ME2.

10- Frustrated that every time Kai Leng turns up I lose control of my Shepard who suddenly can't shoot for shit.

Got some of your own to share? :)

Add a Comment:
 
:iconsaiyanprincesscat:
saiyanprincesscat Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Hah, those are pretty good. Let's see...oh yes, my problem was downloading the highly anticipated extended cut after scraping by that last part in the hardest difficulty, seeing Star Kid again and shooting him as was per usual...

Except that time he yelled at me, game ended...

:| Had to re-do everything. Learned you can't skip scenes in the last part. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.
Reply
:iconjoeshouseofart:
JoesHouseOfArt Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
OMFG those ending cutscenes were unbearable! And the slow walk of doom to the choices you really don't want to choose....
Reply
:iconcardboredbox:
Cardboredbox Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm tellin' ya! All those problems can be solved with Space Magic. :iconwhutplz:
Reply
:iconjoeshouseofart:
JoesHouseOfArt Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Good old Space Magic. Can it get me out of work early today? :(
Reply
:iconcardboredbox:
Cardboredbox Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
*wiggles fingers* ta-DAAHHH!!
Reply
:iconjoeshouseofart:
JoesHouseOfArt Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Still at smelly work. Maybe you need it to be a full moon for your powers to be at their most effective??
Reply
:iconcardboredbox:
Cardboredbox Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I think you are right. Actually, I think all the planets have to be aligned first...
Reply
:iconjoeshouseofart:
JoesHouseOfArt Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Stupid planets... BRING ON THE EQUINOX!!!
Reply
:iconcardboredbox:
Cardboredbox Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
woo! :iconlawooplz:
Reply
:iconjeanwrap:
jeanwrap Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
ALL VERY TRUE.
Every time I took Kaiden out on a mission in ME1 the game would glitch and he would be shooting upwards the entire mission, in turn rendering as a useless partner and the shooting sounds got very annoying. This is why I had no problem killing him off. o_o;
Reply
:iconjoeshouseofart:
JoesHouseOfArt Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Hahahaha. Poor old Kaidan kinda brought it on himself then :P
Reply
:iconjeanwrap:
jeanwrap Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I should probably feel bad that when the opportunity arise I didn't even hesitate. >_<
Reply
:icondeemonef:
Deemonef Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
PS: Irritated, that Shep have a hundred od genius powerful armors, and guys like iranda and Jack walk half naked into a mission)
....and the worst: Jack can go on the Quarian Ship... with all bare (and ill'makin Skin)
Reply
:iconjoeshouseofart:
JoesHouseOfArt Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Hahahaha. That's true! I think it's because even Jack's skin is as tough as nails ;)
Reply
:iconmythlover20:
mythlover20 Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Professional Writer
12. Fem Shep suddenly undergoing a labotomy and ignoring the man who truly loves her, and whom she loves, in favour of the misogynistic asshole who verbally abused her and abandoned her in ME2, then treats her like a piece of meat in ME3 and accuses her of "cheating" when she did nothing wrong. And her not BREAKING HIS FUCKING JAW WHEN HE MENTIONS SAID CHEATING ALLEGATIONS! *RAR SMASH* :angered: :fork: :threaten: :stab: :angered: :steaming: :rage: :pissed:

:stfu: Kaidan!!!!!
Reply
:iconjoeshouseofart:
JoesHouseOfArt Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
ZOMG KAIDAN WHY DO YOU DO SUCH BAD THINGS???? Making my own team with my own Shepard and she'll be having Kolyat on her team :)
Reply
:iconzaeedmassani:
ZaeedMassani Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013
GUYS! I JUST FOUND KAIDAN'S CHARACTER! [link]
Reply
:iconjoeshouseofart:
JoesHouseOfArt Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Hahaha. The Kaidan fans are gonna get you!!!
Reply
:iconzaeedmassani:
ZaeedMassani Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013
Before I die....tell them....



Kaidan loves....* [link] *
Reply
:iconjoeshouseofart:
JoesHouseOfArt Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Hahahaha. So random :P
Reply
:iconbaronthedoomlord:
BaronTheDoomlord Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013
11. Harbinger not being able to shut the hell up in ME2, but in ME3, he's suddenly mute. =P
Reply
:iconjoeshouseofart:
JoesHouseOfArt Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Hahahaha. Are you sure it's not just because he's only talking to you now....
Reply
:iconbaronthedoomlord:
BaronTheDoomlord Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013
LOL. Actually another annoyance were those damn Banshees and their one-hit kills.
Reply
:iconnakurai-fang:
Nakurai-Fang Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013
Kaidan on Horizon, enough said xD
Reply
:iconjoeshouseofart:
JoesHouseOfArt Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Hahaha. Poor old Kaidan...
Reply
:iconnakurai-fang:
Nakurai-Fang Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013
I just always thought he acted out of character on Horizon, he just wouldn't listen to Shepard at all... although the email he sends afterwards made me feel a little better :) I just love this list by the way xD
Reply
:iconjoeshouseofart:
JoesHouseOfArt Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Did you have the mobile phone app so you got even more loving messages from him while playing ME3? I got lots of nice ones from my girl Jack :)
Reply
:iconnakurai-fang:
Nakurai-Fang Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013
Mobile phone app? O:
Reply
:iconjoeshouseofart:
JoesHouseOfArt Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Oh you didn't know??? If you have it installed you get private messages from ME characters at key moments while you play telling you either romantic stuff or just general info depending on your relation to them.
Reply
:iconnakurai-fang:
Nakurai-Fang Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013
No I didn't know :o it's like for the iPhone??
Reply
:iconjoeshouseofart:
JoesHouseOfArt Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Yuss! It might be for all smartphones but I'm not sure.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconrickf7666:
RickF7666 Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013
Well I've had several conversations with you about what in Mass Effect annoys me and I agree with most of your list with one exception, number seven. Could the Mako have been better? Sure. Could there have been more to do on the planets? Of course. During the development of Mass Effect 2 there were plenty of threads the gave suggestions on how to improve the Mako. What did Bioware do instead? They removed the Mako completely. How many great games have come out that have included fantastic driving sections? Oh I don't know, off the top of my head, how about Rage or Borderlands?

One of my all time favorite games is an old Nintendo game called Blaster Master. In it you had a jumping tank and as you progressed in the game you acquired upgrades for the tank that allowed you access to new areas. This mechanic would have been fantastic for an improved Mako. Would it have taken a bit more creativity in the planet design? Obviously. For those of us who like exploring it would have been a god send.

And finally, there is no way you can say that the planet scanning of ME2 was better than driving across a planet finding resources. The problem with placing a beacon on planetary resources in ME1 was that the game didn't do anything with them.
Reply
:iconjoeshouseofart:
JoesHouseOfArt Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Now that would have been a awesome way for them to incorporate the Mako in ME2! A little bit of racing against the clock and chasing other people in vehicles. And YES having upgrades to it would have been awesome too :)
Reply
:iconangelic-noir:
angelic-noir Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
#2? lol! But that's how women run in the military when they're wearing their uniforms or have loads of gear on them. Like I always told my ex (who was in the army) 'uniforms can suck the sexy right out of a woman and put it right back on a man' :XD:
#4 and 5 definitely! But also:
-Feeding my fish so they won't die, but never feeding my hamster because he lives forever.
-Kelly telling me I have unread messages at my terminal when I've already read my messages...
-Very few (male) romance options for FemShep
-Garrus and his damn calibrations
-Liara (I think she's a good character and romancing her is nice, but I hate how she is kind of just...shoved on you)
-Screwing up the set up to romance Jack

This isn't annoying, but I find it funny in ME2 how you can get a discount in every store by saying, 'this is Commander Shepard and this is my favorite store on the Citadel' Seems every store I walk by has it on repeat.
Reply
:iconjoeshouseofart:
JoesHouseOfArt Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Hahaha. I didn't mean that I wanted FemShep to walk like a supermodel, especially not when she's in full armor. When you watch her run when she's wearing a dress though you might see what I mean. She runs with her knees buckled outwards like she's been riding a horse for hours. And there's nothing unsexy about women in military uniform imo. If I saw my girl in a army uniform I'd probably jump her right there and then :P

Hahahaha. I didn't even consider why you don't have to feed the hampster!! Nice observation. I was nice to Kelly in my playthrough so she volunteered to go feed my fishies for me plus when I ran in to her in ME3 she sent all my fishies back that she'd been taking care of for me :)

Lol. I kept waiting for my Shep to get in trouble for saying every shop was his/her favourite shop but he never got his comeuppance :P
Reply
:icondenof:
Denof Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013
Irritated by Kelly saying that I have unread messages AFTER I JUST READ THEM ALL!

There is no krogan on my team in ME3. Sigh...

Oh, and in ME3, I can't run in Citadel. They finally gave us "unlimited running ability" and I CAN'T EVEN USE IT WHEN I REALLY WANT TO!!

Don't remember any other problems. Yet
Reply
:iconjoeshouseofart:
JoesHouseOfArt Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
And Wrex and Bakara were ever ON the Normandy with you most of the game and we still can't take them in to battle :(
Reply
:icondenof:
Denof Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013
One more thing, the Mako. Let just say I couldn't finish ME1 because of that thing.
Reply
:iconjetxor:
Jetxor Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Student General Artist
Actually #6 isn't that much of a problem for me. It's quite fun, IMO. Especially when they're just vermin that steal the food of the Krogan.
Reply
:iconjoeshouseofart:
JoesHouseOfArt Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Hahahaha. Yeah I was just being a drama queen. They just remind me of little monkeys :P
Reply
:iconaytanay:
Aytanay Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Student Digital Artist
I agree with most of what you said, and damn I hate that Mako too, can't understand how there's so many people who love that thing.
It's not something I hate but is something I think is pretty awkward, since ME1 Shepard is always falling and that becomes pretty visible after you play ME3 where she/he would fall in almost every cutscene
Reply
:iconjoeshouseofart:
JoesHouseOfArt Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Hahaha. Yeah it did get to the point where it was very predictable. I respect the people that like the Mako but I don't understand it :P
Reply
:iconezri-krios:
Ezri-Krios Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yes! All of the above. Especially 6, 9, and 10.

Annoyed that if I don't go feed the damn fish after every mission the lil bastids instantly die! Seriously, you run a couple of small missions that take less than 24 hours, including travel time, and despite having fed them before the first mission, they have starved to death by the end of the second! :XD:

Irritated that the only way to delegate the fish feeding job is to be nice to Kelly.
Reply
:iconjoeshouseofart:
JoesHouseOfArt Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Hahaha. Good old Kelly. I have s oft spot for her after she fed my fishes and saved them all for me in ME3 :)
Reply
:iconezri-krios:
Ezri-Krios Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah, she grew on me after that and I had to save her from Cerberus in the end. :p
Reply
:iconjoeshouseofart:
JoesHouseOfArt Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
She's a good girl. Always supporting the alien races living in harmony etc :)
Reply
:iconezri-krios:
Ezri-Krios Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:rofl: And she can dance... :p
Reply
:iconjoeshouseofart:
JoesHouseOfArt Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Oh goodness yes she can ;)
Reply
:iconcosmochyck:
Cosmochyck Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
DEFINITELY #7.
And of course Kai Leng. Not only can Shep not shoot, but why the hell didn't Thane, a trained ASSASSIN pull the trigger? SO POORLY WRITTEN.
Reply
:iconjoeshouseofart:
JoesHouseOfArt Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Yeah :( Just an excuse to write Thane out of the story. I still think the writers brought in for ME3 had some vendetta against the ME2 writers so they wanted to kill all their characters off.
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×




Details

Submitted on
January 13, 2013
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
884 (1 today)
Favourites
10 (who?)
Comments
143
×